I'd rather be crazy at the grocery store

I would like to officially appologize to anyone who had the missfortune of being in the grocery store with my kids and me this week.  If you are unsure who we were, here is a list of some of the things that were said, to refresh your memory:

"The giant squid packer thing is looking at me.  It's mad at me.  That, or it's looking at the bag roll because they are in love."

"The next person to put thier tounge on someone else gets a time out!"

"Moooommmmmmm, she did "ka ka" in my ear!"

Upon the automatic door not opening for me and the younger daughter, the older daughter says, "It's not opening because it is a judging door and you were not cute enough." (Also recall, later when we were finally - blessedly - leaving, the same older daughter actually got the "judging" door to open for her.  I was told "See mom, I'm cute so it opened.  You weren't.")

 And yes, I was that mom who said "Back away from the candy or I'm going to hit you in the head with these rolls."  And, yes, I was the same mom you caught hitting said girl with said rolls.  But remember, we were all laughing hysterically about it, so don't get too uppity.

I will say, that when you fall down on the job in the parenting field while at the grocery store, the night only goes down hill from there.  Thankfully, we left with a full cart - unescorted, even - but this is what was said after we got in the car, and at home.  It got worse:

"Mommmmmm, my pants fell down and I'm sitting on my butt cheeks."

 (Then the other daughter, in response to the above statement, added...) "If you're happy and you know it clap your butt cheeks."

Later, I was asked, "Can I play with the wine opener?" as if it were an acceptable form of entertainment for anyone other than mommy.

I loved this attempted bribe: "If you give me an Ande's chocolate I'll be less hyper."

"Can everybody be quiet, I'm trying to poo here!" was screamed out from the bathroom.

The most rewarding line: "I challenge you to... a DANCE off!"

"I fly super fast - just like a Chiwawa!"

I will say that this was not a normal grocery trip.  I left smiling, and not stressed out.  Oh, and I normally don't allow that much bathroom humor.  But, sometimes, you just gotta be insane - and let others think what they want - in order to get through the day, and to give your kids some happy, fun memories.

Don't be a judge-a-puss.  You know you sometimes act like an idiot too.  Or you at least want to.

I'd rather give three scoops

My husband is the cool parent.  The easy-going, "aww, let em stay up late to watch Mythbusters," fun parent.  He disciplines too, for sure, and we work well as a team.  But, I think if my kids had to label us, I would be the bossy one, and he would be the fun one.

That sucks sometimes.

I don't mind that they know I mean business when I give them "the look."  They know mom knows - that mom sees all.  That mom will put the smack down if she has too.  Those are good things, but I miss the other stuff sometimes.

Compared to a lot of parents, I'm probably pretty darn fun - I think.  I let them jump on the furniture.  They sometimes get to sleep in, on a school day, just because.  Make crazy food concoctions, as if my kitchen were a laboratory, for the fun of it.

Even still, to them, I am McBossy, and he is McFun.

But....but...I have the ice cream.

I give three scoops.  He gives two.

He lets me win that one.  He points out that "Hey, Mom is the one that hooks you up.  I'm sorry, I can only give you two scoops.  Guess Mom beats me on that."  He probably wants to give them four.  But he doesn't.  He lets me have a beautiful, fun mom moment.

I have the ice cream.  I'm the fun Mom that gives three scoops.

I'd rather be making PROGRESS.

It's time to get dirty people.  Can I get a HOO-RAH!?!

I am a "plan it out" kind of girl.  I get it from my mom, so it comes naturally.  I work best when I have a list to refer to.  I have tried denying this part of me, but with no success.  I need to put pen to paper, write it out, then be able to check it off.

I suck at resolutions.  I think most people do.  I also suck at choosing just one.  There are oh-so-many ways I could be better.  How am I supposed to remember (and stick to) every resolution I should make?  My previous answer to that problem was to simply not make any.

Um, yeah, that didn't get me too far.

So here is my solution.  It is a multi-pronged attack.  Get your battle gear on people, and think of me speaking in a gruff voice, much like a seasoned, bitter, mean, old Marine - cause we're going in!

Here are a few of the resources I used:

• I started by reading this post Michele created about intentions.  (Also check the rest of the series, it's all good stuff.)
• I started writing everything out on paper, until I came across this downloadable goal list by Buttoned Up, which makes it look much cuter to look at.
• Then, I found MindBloom, which not only organizes your personalized goals, but gives you ways to track them too.  (I am taking advantage of the free trial, currently.)

Now, solider, are you ready to get into a hail storm?  Here we go...

• First, is my motto:  Make Progress.  I will use this to keep me on track at all times, and as inspiration.  
• Next, my branches, or categories of growth:  Health, Home, Blog, Creativity, Life/Relationships.  I'll focus on telling you about my Health goals.
• Next, I listed 2 or three specific goals I plan to achieve in each catagory - keeping in mind, that these had to be goals that help me... Make Progress.  So, nothing could be out of reach, but I couldn't pick things I am doing already.  For example, Under Health, I included tracking my points 6 times a week and Working out 4 times a week.  These are more than I do on a regular basis (if left to my own devices) but not so much that I feel I will stop trying.  
• Notice, I am NOT saying I want to lose 50 pounds by X date.  That doesn't work for me.  It will simply stress me out or be ignored.  It is a goal that is way to far away for my short-sited eyes to see.  If that is your thing, then right on - get 'er done. (That isn't military, is it?  Just red-neck?  Anyway...)
• The next step I am going to take, is to make it visual. I will make a nice print out (with a kickin' font) to hang "Make Progress" on my refrigerator, on my bathroom mirror, and on my laptop desktop.

The goal here, Marine, is to .... Make Progress.  (See, I beat it into you, just like a real training camp.)  I will remind myself daily, hourly, and will hold that thought in the back of my mind with everything I do.  "Is this something that will help me Make Progress?"  If yes, then (HOO-RAH) I'm doing well, if no, then I will redirect to acquire the target.  (Are you so sick of my military references yet? I'm well aware I'm probably annoying and doing it wrong, to boot.  Get it?  Boot?  bwahahahaha.  Um, anyways...)

Okay, I'm off to get into the thick of it.  If you get a MindBloom account or trial, let me know, as I would love to add you to my "forest" so you can help keep me accountable.  The more people who know my goals, the more likely I will actually do them.  And us Marine's stick together.

By the way, someone, for the love of Pete, tell me why I set out to make a simple post and always end up with paragraphs upon paragraphs of me blah blah blah-ing.  If you've made it this far, then pat yourself on the back from me.  I owe you a drink.

I'd rather be on the wagon

I am not eating well.
I am not working out.
I. AM. NOT. WEARING. LEG. WARMERS.
I am avoiding you.

Could you tell?

My friend has this great saying.  It must be a Baltimore thing (hon) because I had never heard it before and because it is awesome.  It goes:

Sometimes you need tea and sympathy, sometimes you need a tool kit and a rope.  (Or is it a rope and a hammer?  Or a hammer and a tool kit?)  Any way, you get the point.  I love it, and it is so true.

Sometimes I need a shoulder to lean on.  To be able to complain to.  A person to tell me they understand.

I have that - in all of you.  Those of you who read or comment.  Those of you who cheer me on.  And because you do support me so well, I feel like I am letting you down. 

I am fortunate that I haven't gained too many pounds back - but I have gained.  And boy, does that suck.  It makes me wonder - how many times are you going to give up, "take a break", or be utterly apathetic.

Sometimes I need someone to hand me the hammer.  Cause I have the nails.  A whole bunch of em, really. And these leg warmers aren't going to get back on by me just sitting here.

I'd rather be following along, week 6

Will I get to wear the leg warmers this round, or not? 

Remember - as soon as I hit 189 I was going to get leg warmers.  You know the 80's = leg warmers.  

Lets see if I'm getting closer:

My eating....

I've done pretty well recently.  We went out to eat - and I choose some good options instead of a carb overload.  I've gotten used to drinking non-fat latte's - and they make me happy.

My working out...

Was fantastic.  I can't say enough great things about taking an actual yoga class in a studio with a great instruction.  Other than the yoga, I still kicked butt.  I've been doing a lot of EA More - which pushes me, but is still really fun.  And I've been doing Jillian Michael's shred.  I hate her.  I really do.  Between all those different activities, I've been able to keep my interest up - which has lead to doing it almost every day.  

My emotions...

After having some time off, I had to force myself back into the swing of things.  I complained a bit.  I didn't want to get back to it - but reading the posts of the other mom's, and seeing their successes, made me want that too.  So I am back at it now.  And not only am I back, but I'm enjoying myself.  It is still hard to make the right choices, but they are coming more naturally again.

My weight.....Drumroll.....

189!!!  Boo-ya!

(Sorry, I was too lazy to rotate the pic.)

The leg warmers are mine.  They are quite cozy.  But I think I need to go and get a pair of skinny jeans to wear with them. ;)

I'd rather be following along, week 5 (where did week 4 go?)

Sooooooo....It's been a while, huh?

Sorry about that.  Life gets in the way sometimes, huh?  Well, at least mine does.  Frequently.  Does yours?

I always mean to have good intentions.  I always mean to eat well.  I always want to be motivated.  I always want to work out.  Well, maybe not work out, but, you get the point.  Even when I'm not motivated - I want to be motivated, and then I try to will myself to be motivated.

But sometimes I let dumb things get in the way.
I trip over some drama.
Or a stupid scandal.
I eat too much turkey.
I let a whole bunch of nothing impede my progress.

Sometimes, I realize I'm letting the important things slide by too.   Like spending time with my kids.  Making my house less like a chaotic freak show and more like a manageable science experiment.  Taking care of my family and helping them through the rough patches.

And, all of that is tiring.

So, that's what happened in week 4 - and most of week 5.

I know some of you were concerned that I fell off the planet.  I didn't.  I just had a nice heaping pile of lame and worthy excuses that had to be addressed.

I didn't want to come back.  You might have caught that on twitter.  I wasn't feeling it.  Having a slump.

But I did the good old, "fake it til you make it" tried and true exercise.  I started working out again.  I did the yoga.  The the EA Active More and Wii Fit Plus games.  I even met the Shred.  (Which, can I add - I hate Jillian Michaels.  In a, "why do I have to do another push up?" kind of way.  And I hate the fact that I can't do a jumping jack with out being reminded that I had 2 kids.  Ugh.)

So I kept at that and I'm pretty sure it carried me through.  I'm back again.  I'm tracking what I eat and I'm working out.  And, most importantly, I'm feeling it.  I want to be back at this.  I AM back at this.

Kicking butt, taking names, and being awesome.

And, by some miracle of the turkey-loving gods, I have made it out of these two weeks at 192 lbs, only a one pound gain.

I'd rather be following along, Week 3

Be forewarned that this is a lengthily post.  But, you may want to stick it out, for the props I give you at the end. ;)

Emotions:  My kids were sick all week.  Swine flu sick.  Fevers, rashes, vomiting - it was lovely.  So, I was pretty run down, stressed, and in dire need of free time!  Needless to say, I didn't get any.  Instead, I got a queasy stomach - that didn't seem to settle, unless I was nibbling on some kind of cracker/pretzel/toast, etc.  I was exhausted, and found it very hard to be motivated to do anything after I had fulfilled the request of every one else.

Diet:  I'm not going to post my meals here, but I did keep track with my ww online tools.  I did pretty well with the diet, considering my propensity to head straight to carry out when times get tough.  We managed to eat at home for all but one of our week night dinners.  I stayed within my points for the week, and I didn't eat one of the tubs of ice cream in my fridge.  (Yes, I said "one of" because there are several - that's a whole other story.)  I did have a couple sodas, but again, these seemed to settle the tummy.  (No, I'm not preggers.)

Exercise:  Unfortunately I didn't get to my yoga class.  (This studio rocks btw, because they called me to see if everything was okay!)  I did do a few of my EA Active workouts, but not enough.  My gruve was rather mad at me too, as I didn't have my normal activity of taking everyone everywhere and running errands.  Instead, I was stuck on a couch, next to a sick-o the whole week.  So, yeah, my body is rather bored.

Summary:  It all came out well, in the end.  I was 193.5 last week, and this morning, I was 191!  Down 2.5 pounds this week, and 9 in the last 3 weeks! Only a little over a pound to lose, and I will wear those leg warmers for y'all!  Guess I need to do some shopping this week!

One more thing.  It occurs to me that I may have been withholding from you all.  Or, at least, it feels that way. I never really wrote down my whole life's weight story.  And it really is just too much to go into right now - for you all to read, and for me to put so much emotion into.  (There would be tears, lots of tears.) BUT, I should let you know, that I have been actively trying to lose this weight (the weight that I have had on my frame since being at my heaviest) for quite a while.  Actually, since November 2007.  On that day - the first day I went back to weight watchers - I weighed 220.6 pounds. 

That is insane.  Insane that I'm writing it down, and insane that it ever got that bad.  I don't ever remember being that size, but it was recorded, so it must be true.  It has been a long haul - with lots of ups and downs, too many different routines and diets to count.  But, I look at my graph, and the overall slope of it is down.  I have lost almost 30 pounds in the last 2 years.

I think I needed to get that out so that you knew that this is hard for me.  Really freaking hard.  I am stunned that it is coming off at this rate right now.  But, more than stunned, I'm thankful.  I wanted to tell you my heaviest weight, so I could tell you ladies how thankful I am. 

To you ladies that come and post...
That read my tweets...
That give me gentle pushes
That give me tons of encouragement...
That sincerely care about me...
To you ladies that keep it real -

I am overwhelmingly and forever grateful for your support.  I have never been more determined to do this in my life as I am right now.  And that is thanks to you.  As we get closer to Thanksgiving, I will remember you, and be thankful for YOU.