I'd rather be mamavated

So here it is. For all of the world (aka, the handful of you who already follow this new-born blog, and those awesome mamavation ladies coming to check in on the competition) to see. I'm putting myself out there today. I'm telling you the cold hard truth. It might be hard to hear, but it is much harder to say.

I need to lose weight. A lot of it. (Think: the weight of a small child.) But more than that, I need to get fit. Healthy.

It is funny that I write this about a day before I go do the biggest physical challenge of my life. I know how much of a contradiction it sounds like, but it's not. I did the Breast Cancer 3-day last year too. You know how it ended? With me hobbling up the street, both my knees bandaged and iced, smelling like Bengay, only able to sit on the curb - because it hurt that bad. And in between the start and the finish, I spent plenty of time in the medical tent - icing, see the sports medicine people, and even the chiropractor. Why? Well, it's a long story, but in a nutshell, I was too heavy for the stress I was putting on my body.

So why am I walking the 60 miles again? Obviously, it is an incredible and moving experience. And if I didn't train and do the walk, I would have spent all that time sitting on my butt and avoiding sweat like the palgue. But, more than that, I thrive when I am challenged. That is where mamavation comes in.

I need to be challanged. To be pushed. I work at losing weight - but I give in and give up too easily. I need the support mamavation will lend - and I, in turn, will pass it out too.

I need this. Badly.

I don't want to buy another pair of jeans one size bigger than the last. I don't want to laugh when someone asks me to go run. I don't want to eat grease as my meal the majority of the week. I don't want to cry when I go meet people I haven't seen in a while. I don't want my kids to see my unhealthy ways and think it's okay. I don't want to be the fat girl anymore.

I want my jeans to fall off of me. I want to run a 5K. I want to eat yummy, but healthy meals. I want to be self confident. I need to be self confident. I want my kids to be healthy, active, and self-assured girls that grow into healthy, active, confident adults. I want the person I used to see on the inside to match what is on the outside.

I want this. I need this. Please help?

If you would like to help me become a mamavation mom, you need to tweet to Leah, @bookieboo to get me into the finals. (include @bookieboo, #mamavation, and @amndaj in your tweets.) Example:

Hey, @bookieboo I vote for @amndaj to be the next #mamavation mom!

Thank you so much for reading what I just let ooze onto the blog, straight from my heart. This is something that, for the most part, I keep bottled up. I hope that by putting myself out there, you will feel what I'm saying and lend your support. Or at least a fist bump.

With out further ado, here is my mamavation vlog entry: