Friday, March 26, 2010

I'd rather end this relationship

That's it.  It's over.  This was the final straw.  I'm leaving you.

You heard me right, Mr. Scale.  It's over.

For years now, you've been keeping my secret.  You have been diligently reporting back to me the number I craved to have.  The number I needed to know so that I could tell just how well my weight loss was going.

You were cute - at first.  All shiny and white, with retro styling and a simplicity I adored.

But then things got fishy.  You were never set to the right number - never could seem to get back to zero.

Sure you didn't need batteries, but I could step on you 10 times and get 10 different results.  What kind of life is that, Mr. Scale?  It's just cruel!  Cruel, I tell you!

And now.... now I hear that you have been lying to me.  Out right, bold faced, over the top lying.

You padded your response.  By how much?  5 pounds? 7? TEN???

You hear that, Mr. Scale?  Those are my tears.  My tears are flowing knowing that I've really been seven to ten pounds heavier this whole time.

So, it's over.  I've found something new.  Something that won't lie to me.

You thought I was going away to Fitbloggin' just for fun - turns out I also brought back your replacement.  The EatSmart digital bathroom scale.


He's just as cute.  Not retro, but more sleek - more sophisticated.  He's transparent.  He's smart. He honest.  He's mine.  

His display is large, and easy to read.  Not like your puny little numbers.
His platform is larger than yours was - and is quite sturdy.
He self-calibrates.  Not like you, who I had to prod every time I wanted an answer.
He is reliable and accurate.  He'll give me the truth, every time, with out change.

So that's it.  You're going into the garbage tonight.

My EatSmart Digital Bathroom Scale and I will live happily every after. 

(And you can too - they are being sold on Amazon here, for a pretty good price!)


*Disclosure: I am not being paid for this post.  I did, however, relieve the product as a gift from EatSmart, as they were a vendor at Fitbloggin' - a conference I paid to attend.  The opinions in this article are completely mine - and I truly am throwing the old scale away!*


7 comments:

  1. That's one of my fears - that my scale is lying to me and I actually weigh way more than I think I do!

    ReplyDelete
  2. Love the 'dear John' letter to the old school scale! :) The Eat Smart one sounds interesting...gonna have to check it out!

    Holly @ Making Over Me
    http://makingoverme.blogspot.com
    @bloggymama

    ReplyDelete
  3. Does yours come on automatically? (I am assuming it is the cheaper of the three available) Anyway, love the letter....it's always a "good thing" to get rid of fabricators of truth!

    ReplyDelete
  4. I LOVE LOVE LOVE this post. I know how those scales go and yet we cling to that stupid number. WHY?!

    ReplyDelete
  5. Okay I'm back. Mostly to tell you that you have a couple blog awards at my blog...come on over and pick 'em up! http://makingoverme.blogspot.com/2010/03/what-week.html

    But also, was thinking of u when I got on my scale this morning. I'm pissed off at Mr. Scale now. And if he doesn't shape up before weigh-in day on Monday, I may be writing my own letter to Mr. Scale. And it won't be a happy one!

    Holly

    ReplyDelete
  6. you totally should have been paid for that most excellent story-like ad!
    blog on girl!

    ReplyDelete
  7. I agree with Becky. You should get paid for this one. I swear its lying to me or NOT.

    ReplyDelete